I published an essay at The Good Men Project yesterday. Titled Running Into Your First Love, it has to do with a New Year’s Eve party, and my chance run in with a woman I had been crazy about as a teen. The experience led to all sorts of meditations which I’ve examined. I hope you’ll check it out.
This is one of those pieces of writing which, while straightforward for the reader, has a long history and a peculiar difficulty behind it for the writer. I first imagined writing it over a half-decade ago. I imagined how it would sound and what I would do about it, but I never found the right words. I realize now it was a question of courage (it is so often a question of courage!). Could I allow myself to feel, again, that torrent of emotion that came when I was a teenager in love? Could I face the consequences of that torrent? What if it revealed something I had been denying? How would I deal with the memories of embarrassment and rejection?
Writing is crazy torture. The liberation it offers only continues to surprise and excite me.
Thanks for reading.