Liquid Ink

The official website of Gint Aras, Finalist 2016 CWA Book Award

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Russia at the UN: matter of a faecal nature

A Lithuanian Facebook friend sent me this chain letter—its author unknown—that had made its way through Lithuanian e-mail and Facebook messages. My friend felt I might translate it. After reading, I realized that, as a global citizen, it was my civic duty to translate and share this important document.

I only wish I knew the original author so that I might buy them a drink.


Stenographic records of a recent United Nations Security Council meeting:

Chairman: Are there any proposals?

Churkin (Russia): Do you mind if I shit on the table?

All: Nooooo!

Churkin: (Shits on the table before Klimkin, Ukraine) Thank you.

Ukrainian representative: Everyone saw it, right? Russia just shat on our table!

Churkin: You have no evidence.

Ukraine: It was your ass. The shit left your anus.

Churkin: Please present us with facts.

USA representative: Our experts have completed an analysis of the contents of this material. We have assembled coordinates to estimate its point of release. We conclude, without a doubt, that this is shit shat by Russia.

Churkin: Please provide us with proof

UK representative: This is appalling. Russia undoubtedly shat the shit. This cannot continue.

German representative: I suggest we consider the possibility of expressing our common concerns regarding Russia’s current behavior.

Churkin: Veto! (Shits again on Ukraine’s table.)

Ukraine: You saw, yes!? Here, again! Russia just shat on our table. Here’s the shit! Here’s the ass. Here, he’s pulling up his trousers!

UN chairman: If these facts are confirmed, we’ll have at our disposal a variety of possible responses.

Churkin: I’ll repeat. Provide us with a single bit of evidence!

Germany: We believed that sanctions would be effective. However, the stench here is only intensifying. We suspect that Russia is potentially shitting on Ukraine’s table.

Churkin: Provide us with the proof.

UN chairman: I move that we accept the resolution that we are all deeply shocked.

Churkin: Veto. (Shits on UN chairman’s table.)

Ukraine: You saw it, yes?! Here and now! Russia just shat all over the chairman’s table. Russia is dangerous and can at any moment shit on any European table.

Churkin: You’ve failed to provide a single bit of evidence we find acceptable.

US representative: The Pentagon has recorded the risking levels of stench wafting from the direction of Russia. We’ll have to consider the option of revoking Russia’s rights to shit during UN meetings.

Churkin: Veto. (Shits on Ukraine’s table.) You don’t have any proof. In fact, most of the evidence points to Ukraine shitting itself.

Ukraine: You saw that Russia just shat on our table once again.

German representative: It’s becoming increasingly complex to remain here. We invite both sides to a dialogue.

Churkin: Russia elects to exercise its right to a supplementary announcement. (Takes a plastic folder, employs it to scatter shit onto all UN member states.) Russia is a magnificent country and will not allow anyone to pressure us. Without providing us with any evidence, you have no right to dictate conditions. It’s best you now have a look at yourselves. You’re all shitheads. You’re sitting in shit, and the stench is wafting from you. Given this, how can you prescribe any behavior? Thank you for your attention. (Leaves the chamber, throwing the stained folder to the UN chairman and spitting on the US representative’s shoes)

UN chairman: Thank you all for expressing your positions. The next meeting scheduled to consider our concerns over Ukraine will begin after we have ventilated the room.


And now for something that only appears completely different. Here are some dashcam videos:




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Please sign this Fukushima petition

I would like to urge all my readers to sign and share this petition regarding current very challenging and dangerous maintenance attempts at the Fukushima nuclear plant disaster in Japan. It is to be delivered to Ban Ki-Moon, Secretary-General of the United Nations, and Barack Obama. They are urged to call out to the world’s experts to help handle the situation in Fukushima. 

My Roshi, Robert Joshin Althouse, sums it up very nicely. I pulled it from his Zen Life Blog

Under normal circumstances I usually write about practical issues concerning mindfulness and living a Zen-inspired life, but these are not ordinary times. While we are preoccupied with running our government, the Fukushima Nuclear Power plant in Japan continues to struggle. After months of covering up, Tepco (Tokyo Electircal Power Company), which runs the plant, admitted that there has been some leaking of readioactive waste into the Pacific ocean. It turns out that in fact, tons of radioactive iodone, cesium, and stontium-89 and 90 have already leaked into the Pacific Ocean.

Within the next sixty days, Tepco will begin trying to remove more than 1500 spent fuel rods from unit-4, a tank standing 100 feet high and holding 400,000 tons of radioactive fuel. Yale professor, Charles Perrow writes in the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists that “much more serious is the danger that the spent fuel rod pool at the top of the nuclear plant number four will collapse in a storm or an earthquake, or in a failed attempt to carefully remove each of the 1,535 rods and safely transport them to the common storage pool 50 meters away. Conditions in the unit 4 pool, 100 feet from the ground, are perilous, and if any two of the rods touch it could cause a nuclear reaction that would be uncontrollable. ”

Admitting that this is a complex global problem is not a negative judgment on the Japanese government. National sovereignty aside, this kind of environmental problem is really a global problem, and as such we should be harnessing as much of our resources worldwide in the scientific and nuclear industry to help assist Japan in cooling this plant safely.

On Sept. 17, 2013, Colin P.A.Jones reported in the Japan Times that Tepco and the Ministry of Economy in Japan have repeated resisted offers from America to help. He says, “The United States successfully cleaned and decommissioned nuclear facilities at Hanford, Washington, Rocky Flats, Colorado, and Portsmouth, Ohio. Other projects are currently under way in both the U.S. and U.K.”

I have formed a “Fukushima Circle” at our Zen Life & Meditation Center to follow the news stories about this situation and keep our community up-to-date on this. I have also requested that any of you, who are concerned about this, please sign the enclosed petition requesting the United Nations and President Barak Obama to use all of their resources to assist the Japanese.

The petition reads:

“At Fukushima Unit-4, the impending removal of hugely radioactive spent fuel rods from a pool 100 feet in the air presents unparalleled scientific and engineering challenges. With the potential for 15,000 times more fallout than was released at Hiroshima, we ask the world community, through the United Nations, to take control of this uniquely perilous task.”

Please consider signing this petition.

Click here to add your name to the petition. (

We certainly have our own problems as a country, but this crisis in Japan is a global problem of potentially disastrous proportions. For our children’s future, and for safety of our planet, let’s keep our eye on the ball. —Robert Joshin Althouse