Here are some points I’ve either read or heard made over the course of the past days by my fellow citizens. These have been edited for clarity, respectability and brevity.
In Social Media
1.) Facebook in no way influenced the election because you’re a liberal and you don’t understand how algorithms work.
2.) Sure, Donald settled for $25 million, but Hillary killed people prepared to testify about Benghazi.
3.) Democrats don’t even know how to count because Donald Trump went back on his promises.
4.) You really do need to show more tolerance towards people who want Jews and Homosexuals gassed. Those people believe they are the descendants of the sun.
5.) If Hillary Clinton were as strong as Vladimir Putin, she would have kept all the Crimeans out, which is the only reason Putin went in.
6.) Donald Trump can’t win. Even if he changes his positions, still the liberals don’t like him.
7.) The only reason I voted for Trump is because he’s against the H-1B visa. I got laid off because of that, and I’m an accountant.
8.) Not everybody thinks its Nazi to support white people. And just because you salute with your right hand doesn’t mean you buy into everything that’s Nazi.
9.) Obama gave Ellen DeGeneres a civilian award even though she never fought on a battlefield or took a wound. So now it’s just a lesbian award? I’m going to pretend I’m a lesbian so that I could get one.
10.) I know people from Pennsylvania and Wisconsin who understand their jobs aren’t coming back. So they voted their conscience.
In Overheard Conversation
1.) No, I’m really really really not a racist. I just think it’s time for white people to have another chance.
2.) It’s actually wrong to vote unless they put somebody in office.
3.) Illinois went blue mostly because nobody voted.
4.) You know those protesters got paid off because most of them went to Starbucks or Whole Foods right afterwards, and there’s no way any of them have jobs.
5.) I was there waiting in traffic for those protesters to get out and I could tell you it was way more annoying than watching the Cubs win the World Series.
6.) Now the millennials are going to learn what it means to have to look for a job just like regular people.
7.) If you supported immigrants, you would really want them to go back to their home countries where they would be safe.
8.) Can somebody explain to me why Michael Jordan deserves to get a Medal of Freedom? What did he do to deserve it?
9.) It shouldn’t be wrong for the president to own hotels. If you think about it, it saves money on business trips.
10.) The only way you’re going to get more people out to vote is if you give them a good reason to do it.
Photo of Lollipop from Wikipedia