OK, so I know these guys. They’re good friends, former college roommates, and they recently met after a long time spent apart. Let’s call them Joe and Fred.
Fred lives here in the Midwest, and Joe lives on the West Coast. Joe came to visit Fred, and Fred showed Joe something he had not seen in over a dozen years: his blue plastic Grateful Dead bong. Married now with children, facing a cross-continental flight following the holidays (daze), as much as he loved it, Joe could not accept this gift. So the friends did what all good men should do during the holiday season.
They packed the bong with marijuana, included two “strike anywhere matches”, and packed the gift in a box of Glenfiddish whiskey. Then they left the festival on a bus stop bench near the corner of Austin and Roosevelt Road here in Chicago. Merry Christmas to the neighborhood friends who picked that shit up. (It’s gone. I checked.) May all your wishes come true, and may cheer greet you in the new year.
Every part of this story, except for the names, is 100% true. Deny it and face hellfire.