Harry Crews. This is excellent. “The guy on the table would be dead, and the novel would be dead.”
Scanning through my Facebook newsfeed today, here’s what I learned:
1.) There’s a lot, and they mean a *lot* of evidence in the bible to support the coexistence of God and alien’s (sic).
2.) Somebody’s friend doesn’t need any proof to know there’s a way to cure cansir (sic) without medications or surgeons.
3.) If Obama had really wanted to stop terrorism, he’d never have run for office.
4.) There’s no way anyone can tell if Jay Cutler is a good quarterback.
5.) Even if it’s true that vaccinations cause most disease to be more widespread, somebody’s friend would still feel the need to live in a well-ventilated area.
6.) The Judeo-Christian God is clearly a guy.
7.) One friend’s friend grew up Catholic, but this has changed “since then”.
8.) Another friend’s friend, when presented with irrefutable evidence of extraterrestrial life, would, indeed, change her understanding of the universe.
9.) Some guy insists it’s just a matter of time before somebody drives out of Colorado with a joint in the car, and they’ll have a pistol in the car, and that will be goodbye to the stereotype of the hippy.
10.) Hyperactivity and a sugar-high are the same thing.
11.) One friend has been trying to teach parents how to perceive their own children for years, but they have not listened to him. He doesn’t have any kids of his own because he has no patience for them, wired or otherwise.
12.) Sometimes the Onion doesn’t use appropriate facts.
13.) “I went to college to become a gym teacher and I can tell you that the Common Core is impossible to learn.”
14.) If other countries had a flag just like America has a flag, they would probably show it at their games, too. But the problem is that the other countries do not play any national sports, so they don’t have any reason to recruit military personnel during their games. A flag is a very important recruitment tool.
To my credit, I avoided getting into arguments with any of these people. So that counts for something, right?
It’s incredible to me that 1999 killed all reference to “hip times” or “cool days.” This photo is from 2002. There’s nothing nostalgic or hip about “that time”, whereas pictures from the 70’s or 90’s are always so “wow…you remember when life was fun?” Even pictures from the 80’s raise the idea, “Remember how absurd it all was?” But from 2000…you know.