Liquid Ink

The official website of Gint Aras, Finalist 2016 CWA Book Award

An observation of vulgarity

1 Comment

Did you ever notice how the person blasting his music on the phone while riding the subway is never blasting Bach? Here’s a list of musicians and composers whose music never accompanies the act of either blasting music on the subway or vibrating the entire neighborhood with your automobile’s bass howitzer:

Mozart

John Coltrane

Julie Andrews

Sarah McLachlan

Tiny Tim

Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem

Laurie Anderson

The Carpenters

Barry Manilow

Stravinsky

Harry Connick Jr.

Bill Clinton

Big Daddy Kinsey and the Kinsey Report

Lawrence Welk

Elvis Costello

Wesley Willis

Phish

Warpaint

Bill motherfuckin Clinton

Tom Waits

Them

The Mothers of Invention

gg allin

Screamin Jay Hawkins

David Allan Coe

The Residents

Janis Joplin

John Cage

Sun Ra

Michael Bolton

Perhaps you get the point?

I therefore have a proposition to all those interested in blasting music on their phone whist engaged in some form of urban ambulation. Stop the cliche! You want to annoy your neighborhood? Fuck yeah! Bust out some Lawrence Welk. Crank up Tiny Tim’s Tip Toe Through the Tulips (with him). Get the neighborhood thinking you’re truly deranged by firing up some Tiger Lillies. Then we’ll know you mean business. Otherwise it’s just getting old, dude. It’s just the same old vulgarity.

20140223-150520.jpg

For the record: I did once hear someone successfully annonying an entire train with a crackling recording of “Take Me Home, Mountain Road” (or whatever that shit is) by John Denver.

 

One thought on “An observation of vulgarity

  1. Lol. “Urban ambulation” is right. Goodness, it is so annoying. And I can’t with the “hibbity jibbity” too early in the morning. It always seems even worse then.

Your thoughts here...

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s