Liquid Ink

The official website of Gint Aras, Finalist 2016 CWA Book Award

How to teach reading

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As the American academy has been proving now for about two decades, the absolute best way to teach reading requires three easy steps:

1.) Have them read nothing

Reading is difficult. If you try to read, generally, you’re going to find that it doesn’t come naturally. The written language is an invention, completely artificial and counter-intuitive; the people who invented it were elitist and snobby. Reading will, therefore, feel bad. It’s better to avoid it.

2.) Pass, pass, pass

Failure is horrible. Nobody likes to fail. Of course, nobody has to. All it takes is passing your classes, and all you have to do to pass your classes is get passed. It’s a tried and true method. On occasion, a teacher might suggest that holding back little Johnny or Mary might benefit them. No. It will only make them sad.

3.) Feel good

Good feelings are amazing. They are, in fact, the reason you’re alive. When you read nothing and pass your classes, you can feel good about yourself. And when you feel good about yourself, you can face the world and confidently ask what it can do for you right now.

Summary:

If you’re reading this, you’re elitist.

One thought on “How to teach reading

  1. Haha. I love being an elitist “reader!”

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