I took a big step toward finally organizing my first-ever gallery exhibition by test-printing a few photographs. I was pleased with one print but found the other rather sloppy. Still, it’s a great feeling to look at a photograph at the printer’s and to know how it was taken, to remember what made me want to point the camera, etc.
I had an interesting moment of mindfulness when I saw the first photograph. Waiting for the results, I had believed the photo would look awful. I don’t have expensive equipment and many of my old pictures were taken in such a way to make blowing them up a challenge. I had never actually imagined printing them. I only wanted to take them and look at them on the computer. While I thought maybe someone else would be interested in them, I didn’t have any real ambition and was only screwing around. So my printed picture would look awful.
But it didn’t look awful. It looked like one of my pictures, the exact ones that people have been asking me to show for years.
There’s always that voice, louder one day, quieter another, but always there. There’s no way your stuff will be good. Just give up. Don’t bother with it. You’ll be disappointed. You should spare yourself the feeling.
So there’s a bigger step, actually. I’m learned to ignore that voice regarding my writing. Now I’m learning to ignore it in my photography.
Expect an announcement of a showing before the end of the year, and in a cafe most Chicagoans love.